forgive and let go

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind (Mahatma Gandhi)

you’re in control

Nobody can hurt me without my permission (Mahatma Gandhi)

Parent’s role is absolute

Parent’s role is absolute to the children’s life.  I was reading an article which makes me realize about this. The role is not absolute because of the genetic heritage to the children, but because of the habitual motions being imitated by the children.

The article told me that children from the Professors mother and father has a high potential to be a clever children. This is not because of the genetic issues, but because of these kids is imitating their parents to keep study and reading books. From the very early year of the children, they are used to see their parents reading a lot of books ad making discussion about many things. As the kids grow up, indirectly they adopt this behavior as theirs. And these kids end up by being a professors, or well-knowledge people.

This is the nice example I obtained from the article. And now let’s imagine how if the kids see the parent’s divorce? Without any intention to offence the divorced parents, I only want to deliver my thought so as the young people has a better planning before they decide to have a baby. Divorce is not something bad to be done. Sometimes it is better for the parents to divorce than if they keep trying to keep their marriage but then no happiness inside the family anymore.

However through this thought, according to the finding of the research about the kids are imitating the parent’s behavior, there is 2 major potential outcome. One is that the children might be scared of marriage. Or the second is that the children are still brave to enter the marriage life.

The bad news is: even though the children who have courage to marry, they also have kind of willing not to have the same failure as their parent had, how are they supposed to do it? As the whole life of the children life they’re observing the failure of the marriage, how the children success to implement the new way of being a parent? They only have one parent in their life, one shots of their childhood, and one role to influence their behavior.

Well, I actually also don’t have any good answer to this. Maybe the children from the divorced parent need to live together with a happy marriage parent for some long periods. This is due to give the children more references in how to be a parent so thus the children for the future will not need to imitate or continue the “divorced-chain” from the grandparent, parent, children, and so on.

Still, having a parent no matter how the family life is, this is a great and indescribable gift in our life. We need to be thankful and take care of the gift. Never blame each other, but learn from anything happen in our life. Continuous learning increases our quality in life.

From a divorced parent, even though the kids maybe lose direction of how to imitate the dream-parent figure for the future children, we can learn many more things that other kids cannot. We can learn how to have a high understanding to the others. This is because of the children from a divorced-parent’s would have to understand that their single-parent needs to work to earn some money for their life, therefore, this parent will have less time to feed the dog together, watch movie together, gossiping, cooking, or giggling together.  The children will also realize that their single-parent is only a normal human who also feel sad about the failure. And that they also need partner to love and be loved.  These facts help the children to have a high ability to feel empathy and understanding to their surroundings.

At the end, both coupled-parent and divorced-parent give an enormous experience to the children. Parent’s absolute role needs to be wisely considered before the young people decide to be one.  We need to realize how important they are in the children life.

Well, good luck then.. J

Sweet Memory

Life is full of memories. It was one of the best years I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve never be able to memorize all the detail moments in a year as much as I had when I was in Germany.

The classical question would be “why?”,. “ Why should it ends so soon?”

I spent half of my journey back home crying on the plane. I was expecting the Plane lost its direction and instead of landing in Indonesia, it would be landed in Frankfurt. Well, luckily it didn’t happen, coz if it does, then it would be the silliest flight ever,.

It was a quite nice summer in Germany when everyone gets to know each other closer and closer. When finally you know that they weren’t just new friends for you, when you know them better, love them, and cares about them more. It was quite nice as well when you found your crush likes you back after all searching.

For about 2 weeks after leaving Germany, I always saw Pforzheim and the people in my dream, or even when I shortly close my eyes.

Before leaving everyone always said that:

“keep this as a good memories” “when you feel down, please remember the time in PF and smile again for us” “we will keep in contact, don’t worry” “I will collect money and visit you in your home country” “mann sieht sich immer zwei mal im Leben” (People meet each other at least twice in their lifes) Etc…

I do keep those as a good memory. In which make me difficult to move on. Am I able to smile when I have to give in those memories, and being here? Am I able to keep contact when there is so much different time among us? Will I be able to visit them one by one or having a reunion somewhere in this world? And if I will be able to do it, will everyone able to do it?

Too much questions in my head. And the more I think about it, the more suffer I am.

So I decided to move on,. Yep “move on”, simple word but tough! I was trying to do it by make myself busy. Meanwhile, I also keep contact with some friends I knew from Pforzheim. Because I found out that still talking with them gave me the feeling that they’re still near to me. The feeling that if I need their help, they can always come to my room, help me and give me a hug.

But things didn’t goes as what it’s expected. Some friend keep in contact, while the other close friends were disappear like a magic! well okey not that worse,. But still, it’s hard to contact them,. In fact, it was almost everyday we were always hanging around together, partying, cooking, traveling, watching movie, studying at the library,etc.

I was really angry about many things. I was angry that my friends didn’t keep in contact as they promised. I was angry that my crush didn’t want to work a little bit harder on me and just let me go. I was angry that my freedom was taken away from me. I was angry that I have to readjust to the confusing culture.

At the end, I worry so much about the memory of Pforzheim I have. Will it still be a good memory as it is? Or Will it be a bitter memory?

A friend told me that I shouldn’t be a “cry baby girl” who isn’t able to move on and face everything. I need to grow up! And face it like a grown adult!

Strong advice, but I know I have to be able to do it. Just give me sometime, and I’ll be fine.

Well, my progress is going quite good. I can accept and face it, even tough sometimes I still dream about it. But yeah my sister told me, in few months I will be able to see it as a funny process..

And we will see…

Winter…

<!–[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]–><!–[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]–> It’s been a long time I never updated my blog. Life is so “cool” lately.. cool in both meaning.. cool that I can experience all these and cool because of the wind.

Winter is a totally new for me.. in Indonesia, I only had,,. Summer and summer.. okey sometime it’s raining, but then I found that it was still warm.. When in back home 22’celcius was really cold for me.. but now,. 18’ is warm…. What a strange..

The strangest thing happened

thank God for this day…

Today is just another happy day I’ve had… Sandra, calita her boyfriend, ully and I went to the Europa Park., it took 1 hour to get there from Pforzheim place where I lived.

It was foggy on our journey to get there, so we were a little bit worry if there was not bright enough to enjoy all the game.. but the fact was different… we had a nice weather, tough it was a little bit cold.. but it was okey! Hehe,.

Then we wanted to ride the “silver star”, it is a famous jet coaster made by the Mercedes Benz……

running day…..

“run run ruuuun…,.!! We almost missed the train!” we yell at Mba retty, maria, and daomea.. in that morning, we planned to go to Heidelberg.. and they were just running almost half of the city to catched the bus and then arrived in the bahnhof(=Train station). So we (mba retty, Ully, Sandra, Claudia, Putri swastika, Maria, Daomea, Katharina, Santa, and I) rushed into the train.., then when the door was closed, two more of our friend waving their hand coz they missed it. However.., the could go to the Heidelberg by the next train.. fiuuuh…..

After waiting our two friends (minu&aksar), we started the trip in the beautiful historical city named Heidelberg.. it is one of the most beautiful city in the Baden Wűrttemberg Germany. It has castle, river, historical buildings, and a good view of forest.

first we wanted to eat.., coz it was already at the lunchtime., so, actually we want to eat donner Kebab, but after walking through the city center, we just couldn’t find it.., then we ate in a Chinese restaurant.., then we walked along the big river named Neckar.., it was sooooooo beautiful….

finally..,.

hoaaaaaa ahkirnya bisa juga connect internet…, itu juga pake password temen., bukan password sendiri.., huhuuuuuuu

tapi y ngk papa laaa..,, hhehehe… bahagianya……

Pforzheim owh Pforzheim

Hoaaaaa kenyaaang.., ngantuk.. = gawat! Abis maem siang minggu minggu gini nggak ada kegiatan lagi di Pforzheim.. tadi pagi sempat ke gereja di deket zentrum..

zentrum = central = pusat kota

ya ampyun yang ke gereja opa-opa & oma-oma rata2.., yaaa ada juga siii anak2 muda nya., sekitar 10% doank tapi.. keren banget deh gereja disini.., y meskipun gereja Indonesia nggak kalah keren juga.., Cuma bedanya disini..: ummm…, nggak ngerti bahasanya.. hihihihi…….. tapi yaaa oke laaah., tata caranya sama kok.. Cuma kue hosti nya aja di sini gedhe…

ngomong2 gedhe.., sama kayak nasi nya juga gedhe gedhe.. btw ya.., barusan kenyang banget abis makan nasi german yang kedua kalinya..!! huhuuu…, kemaren setelah 4hari di german.., baru deh kita makan nasi.., kuenyang nyaaaa pol! Pas makan kebab sih kenyang juga.., tapi kok rasa kenyang makan nasi tetep beda ya? Remind me with my home.., hmm.., kalo dirumah tuh ya.., apa lagi kalo pas pergi ma papi..,  nggak pernah nggak kekenyangan de… tapi kemaren2 demi pengiritan dan kepraktisan bersama.., kita makan roti gitu.., trus kalo pagi makan buah sama juice.. hehew….. sehat juga sih kalo dipikir2..,

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Ummm….. .  .. . .  mau ngapain yaaa?? Jobless abis… bingung mau ngapain.., mau jalan.., besok udah kuliah.., males, capek, mau istirahat aja..

Saking kekurangan kerjaan dan BELOM BISA PAKE INTERNET!!!,. I found a new hobby..: ngerawat taneman..

Hhehehe…, yup.., taneman…, bunga2 gitu.., aku taruh di balkon.., lumayan bagus juga sih jadinya balkonnya…, hhehe…. Padahal di rumah ada teneman banyak banget aja…, boro-boro dirawat,., diliat aja jarang banget…

Hhehew.., wish me luck ya ngerawat bunganya.., moga2 nggak pada mati ditangankuw nan indah permai ini.. hhaha… (?? ? ?)

 

my long journey

Waktu menunjukan.., pukul 8.15 am waktu bagian German… huehehehehe…, yupz.., now I’m in Germany..,

Kalo hari ini tanggal 5 September 2008.., berarti udah 2 malem sejak kedatangan dari Indonesia tercinta..  and today will be the third day in Pforzheim..

It was a long journey to get here.., and “heavy”.. itu gara2 kita harus bawa2 koper sendiri yang beratnya waktu itu.., 29Kg, plus back pack 10Kg & tas tenteng 4Kg… fiuuuh….. (ngusap keringet..)

Di air port banyak yang nganter keberangkatan aku, ully, mba retty, & putri swastika.. ayah ibu, kakak, adik, om tante, emak ngkong…, temen2 juga ada ikut nganterin kita.. sediiiih bangeeet pas mau berangkat.., pas didalem aja masih sedih banget,sampe diliatin orang2 gara2 muka nya kelipet lipet.. hhehe..

Pas di Malaysia langsung nggak begitu sedih.., soalnya begitu sampe udah bisa connect internet trus telfon2an dee ma keluarga di kampoeng halaman..

10 menit sebelum tengah malam waktu bagian Malaysia.., yang dipercaya lebih cepat 1 jam dari Indonesia bag barat, kita meluncur k german..,

Enak banget di pesawat.., makanannya enak2.. huhuuu…., coba 3 hari ini makanannya kayak di pesawat/ di jogja yaaa….., pasti bahagia! Trus I got my first friend..,